1 Year, 7 Months. My Longest Relationship

Hey everyone, for those of you who do not know, I have been dating Asher Cougill for 1 year and 7 months. That’s my longest relationship! Before then, my longest relationship was only somewhere around 10-11 months and no where near as happy. I actually was in a lot of toxic relationships before dating Asher and I am so glad that I am with such a sweet and nice guy now. Today is Asher’s 20th birthday, so I decided that this week’s blog post is about how Asher and I met and eventually started dating.

​There are 3 different sections to this blog post: How Asher and I Met & Later Started Dating, Ashley’s Thoughts of the Relationship, and Asher’s Thoughts of the Relationship. Each section is really important to the overall post of how I ended up having my longest and best relationship. There was a few years between when Asher and I had met to when we started dated, about 3 years to be more exact. This was one of the very few relationships where I was friends with Asher before dating him, and I definitely would suggest doing that. It’s so much better to already know a person, even if just vaguely than to immediately jump into a relationship. It definitely made our relationship a lot stronger than it would have been without that history between us.

​How Asher and I Met & Later Started Dating:
(Written from Ashley’s perspective with help from Asher on more specific details. Forewarning: briefly and vaguely speaks of 2 toxic past relationships.

​Asher and I met through Team 1720, PhyXTGears robotics. I had been involved in the team since 2009 and Asher joined the team in 2012 (years may be 1 year off, unknown currently). We had talked a few times when he first joined the team because he was interested in joining the media sub-team, my first memorable interaction with Asher was the 2012/2013 New Year’s Eve Ball Drop that the robotics team was involved with. I even have a wonderful picture of it taken by my wonderful picture loving mother.

I ended up taking a break from the team soon afterwards for multiple reasons. One of the reasons was that I was homeschooled from 4th-8th grade and started school at Burris Laboratory School and the transition was very hard for me to handle. There was suddenly stricter deadlines, less sleep, and a lot more people to deal with. So in order to save my grades I had to take a break and Asher and I had not exchanged number since we were not close friends yet, so in turn I also took a break in my friendship with Asher. We eventually became friends on Facebook, but still did not talk to him much.

About a year or 2 later, I was going to youth group at The Compass Church, S Campus as I did every week, only this week was a tad different. Asher was at my youth group and so I said hello! However, I was in a very abusive relationship at that time with a guy named Kevin (fake name, but not fake enough to keep you from guessing if you know me well). In that relationship Kevin did not like me to talk to other guys, especially not on my own so Asher and I only talked very rarely.

​My 17th birthday, my mother created a really awesome birthday party idea and I invited a lot (if not all) of my friends on Facebook through a Facebook event for my birthday party. It was at the church I was attending at that time and there was a ginormous gym to play basketball or soccer in. There was also a youth room that I made completely dark and then added Christmas lights and blew up some balloons and put different colored glow sticks in them to light up the room a bit. That room have pool, ping-pong, and video games.

​This party was wonderfully set up and many people had said they were going to attend, but sadly for one reason or another not many people had came, I later found out it was because some of my friends did not want to see Kevin, and others were told by Kevin not to come. However, my party still had a higher boy to girl ratio and Asher still came. My mother took normal and silly pictures of me with each person, and Asher’s choice of silliness was to pick me up without warning. Kevin was mad about that and the rest of that night, I stuck by Kevin’s side even when that was away from everyone who so kindly came out to celebrate my birthday party. Later that week, Kevin had me delete every friend who was a guy on my Facebook. I slowly isolated myself and it was a very dark time for me.

​After a series of very horrible events, I finally broke up with Kevin. However, I did not do it for the right reason, and I quickly jumped into another toxic relationship. I dated Jacob (fake name, harder to guess) for a few months and I still wasn’t happy, but I was happier than I was in the relationship prior. I had added all of my friends back on Facebook and talking to them in person again. I joined the robotics team again and I began speaking to Asher at robotics and at church youth group again, I “stole” his hat a few times and teased him a lot and he teased me right back.

​Asher and I quickly became best friends talking about so much and he helped me come to terms with how toxic my relationship with Jacob actually was. Jacob was addicted to drugs and very depressed. He took medication for his depression, but it didn’t help him. My mother (for good reason) did not like me dating Jacob and she made it very difficult to do so (which looking back on, I am very glad she did). It actually ended with Jacob breaking up with me because he did not like the situation anymore because it did not benefit him in the way that he wanted.

I was a complete mess after the break up, I knew the relationship with Jacob was toxic, but I was scared that I had just became damaged goods. Asher assured me that I was not, I was always amazing and that just because I had several bad relationships in the past and I made a lot of mistakes, I was not damaged goods. We hung out at my house soon afterwards and watched a movie, he hugged me and let me know that everything was going to be alright. We were involved in a church confirmation class and helped each other (along with help from my mom) a lot throughout that process. We quickly moved from best friends to dating and it was the start of a really nice and refreshing relationship for both of us.

​We started dating on December 6, 2015 which by the way it is really awesome to start dating in December because then your 1 month anniversary is on the 1st month of the year, and your 7 month anniversary is on the 7th month of the year. Asher and I have been together for 1 year and 7 months now. That is my longest relationship and also my best. We are both turning 20 this year, Asher is today and I am in October. I find that really cool because we are both turning 2 decades old the same year our 2 year anniversary will be. Asher and I have grown a lot in our relationship and as people in general while being together and it’s been one of the most amazing experiences for us both.

​We’ve both learned a lot about who we are as individuals and who we are as a couple. We have our different interest and our separate flaws and we choose to acknowledge and embrace those differences and flaws rather than ignore them like a lot of couples do. We are individuals in our relationship and it works out perfectly for us. We help and support each other in our future endeavors a lot. I don’t know where exactly I’d be in life if I had never dated Asher, and I honestly never want to know. I was falling down a bad path and I got a kick in the butt to be better, and I feel like my amazing relationship with Asher was my reward for actually improving myself.

Being with Asher has been such a big change from my past relationships. Changes are normally terrifying, but this change was one of the best changes in my life. We have a long, but brief history with each other. We’ve known of each other for years, but only have actually taken the time to really know each other the past 2 years. Before anything else, Asher is my best friend. He’s someone I can rant to (even if it’s about him) and figure things out with. He goes on “best friend mode” to take things on from a different point of view and work it out with me.

I’m happier than I have been in a long time and while that isn’t all because of Asher, he’s been a really big part of helping make that happen. Asher does his best to make sure I’m happy, even if he isn’t happy with me at that moment. I’ve been able to express my feelings so much to him about my past, the present and our possible future things. He’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met and tries to help other people out whenever he can. Our personalities click together really well and I am so incredibly in love with Asher.

Asher treats me better than I’ve ever been treated by a boyfriend and I really appreciate all he does for me. He’s so incredibly supportive of who I am as a person and my future career goals, academic goals, religious goals, and life goals in general. We’ve pushed each other to grow into the best version of ourselves that we can. I love Asher so incredibly much and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us.

​Ashley’s Thoughts of the Relationship:

Being with Asher has been such a big change from my past relationships. Changes are normally terrifying, but this change was one of the best changes in my life. We have a long, but brief history with each other. We’ve known of each other for years, but only have actually taken the time to really know each other the past 2 years. Before anything else, Asher is my best friend. He’s someone I can rant to (even if it’s about him) and figure things out with. He goes on “best friend mode” to take things on from a different point of view and work it out with me

I’m happier than I have been in a long time and while that isn’t all because of Asher, he’s been a really big part of helping make that happen. Asher does his best to make sure I’m happy, even if he isn’t happy with me at that moment. I’ve been able to express my feelings so much to him about my past, the present and our possible future things. He’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met and tries to help other people out whenever he can. Our personalities click together really well and I am so incredibly in love with Asher

Asher treats me better than I’ve ever been treated by a boyfriend and I really appreciate all he does for me. He’s so incredibly supportive of who I am as a person and my future career goals, academic goals, religious goals, and life goals in general. We’ve pushed each other to grow into the best version of ourselves that we can. I love Asher so incredibly much and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us.

​Asher’s Thoughts of the Relationship:

Ashley has been the best thing to ever have happened to me by far, she has turned my life around completely, she has helped me grow closer in my walk with God, she has helped me become the man God has called me to be, she has helped me realize my potential in life. I am very grateful to have her in my life

Ever since dating Ashley I have been happier, she’s been there for me through so much and I appreciate that so much. She has always been there to push me to be my best and to do my best, she has has always been there for me through thick and thin no matter what she’s going through

Ashley is the love of my life and I don’t know what I would do without her. She’s seen me at my best, and she’s seen me at my worst, and yet she’s still here standing next to me never wavering and ready to help me if I ever need it. She has gone above and beyond in our relationship and I’m so thankful for that because it has made our relationship so much more fun. I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us.